*face melts*

Why's my face melting? Because I just heard a great guitar solo? *loves School of Rock* No. Unfortunately. Its schoooool.

Which I haven't been to for the past three days...and lots of other days before that. I'm kind of completely sick of all my subjects. And the stress, and the people. So I stayed home and was bored out of my brains.

I have nothing to do. Nothing. I hate school so much, but I need to go and I don't know why...I know I don't want to leave and lose my friends and the extra time I get with my bf there, but...Well, there are alot more people who hate me that like me at school, and the ones who don't hate me don't care.

I've been seriously doubting art school. What if it's just the same as highschool, or harder? Then I'd have gone through all of highschool working towards college for nothing.

So if I leave school, I will have no qualifications, probably loose touch with the friends I just started to have and have nothing to do with my life. I'll also loose my chance to get to art college. But if I stay, I have to put up with all the highschool crap for another year and a half. And do the exams. And if art college doesn't work, then I'm still stuck with nothing...but at least I would have tried. I think. Maybe. I may have to start going to school. =[

So I decided to stay, but I still have to sort some things out. Next year, I only want to take advanced art and build up my folio, but I have to take 4 subjects. The thing is, there are no subjects I can take. Graphics and fashion tech don't go up to 6th year, and English would be pointless hard work as I only need higher so(provided I pass this year) I won't be taking that.

However, I can try leaving school, then coming back as a mature student - this would mean I can only take folio art if I wasnt. I think this'll work because I know someone who did it, the only difference was that she was an adult, my old art teacher from primary school, who wanted to do the course for fun or just to learn a bit more.

I think that school may be ok if I can just pass this year. I MUST pass english and art, and one other higher subject. I just have to make it till after the exams in May. And the prelim exams before that, too.

This may not make sense or be interesting at all, but I needed to write it down to get everything sorted in my head. =] School's been very sucky the past few months and it got too much the past three days that I considered giving up on my education altogether. I'm so close to the exams now...it's scary. I don't want to fail and have to start agian.

I feel better for having made the decision to stay, but I'm not looking forward to the work- I have a design project to do for graphics, four weeks of practical for fashion, alot of history catchup and coursework, and quotes for english to learn, essays and drawing in art... Wish me luck...=D